The BEST Tips for Writing a Fabulous Surrogate Intro Letter

Tips for Writing a Fabulous Surrogate Intro Letter

You’ve read an ATS Spotlight, or classified ad, and are interested in speaking with the Intended Parents further to see if it’s a good match. How do you come across the right way? By writing a fabulous surrogate intro letter, of course!

Check out our tips below to get started on yours:

First impressions are everything.

However, your first conversation with an Intended Parent or Parents will usually be via the internet. While the internet is a fabulous resource for Surrogates and Intended Parents alike, it comes with its own set of issues in regards to communication, as much can be lost in translation. Add that to the proclivity for texting and internet shorthand, emoticons, and a tendency toward letting grammar and spelling fall to the wayside, it can all lead to an uninspired first impression.

We know you want to show the true and very best side of yourself when writing your introduction letter to an Intended Parent or Parents, so here are some tips to consider before you hit send:


There is a time and place for short and sweet,
and this isn’t one of them.

We’ve all gotten used to the fast pace the world has set, due in part to the instantaneous nature of the internet. This can be seen in shorthand, such as: lol, btw, 2nite, imho, omg, thx, and so on. Most of you already know using such shorthand isn’t advisable for formal communications, but sometimes it’s best to start somewhere obvious.

Using such acronyms and shorthand can make communications feel abrupt, and not thought through very well, so it’s best to scrap their use until you’re more comfortable in the relationship. The length of the letter is also applicable here. You’re endeavoring to start a very intimate relationship and carry a child or children for this family. Giving them the surrogate version of a/s/l isn’t the route to go.

They don’t need a multi-page biography on every detail of your life, but they do want to get to know you and your family, so think of including:

  • What drew you to their profile in particular.
  • The name of your significant other, if you have one, how long you’ve been together, and how you met.
  • How many children you have, and if you’re comfortable giving it out, their names and ages.
  • Why you chose to be a surrogate.
  • Condensed details of any past surrogacy journeys you’ve had, such as; the kind of couple you carried for, if you’re still in contact, and so on.
  • Pertinent information for the parent(s) to consider:
    • Where you live.
    • Age, height, weight.
    • How many pregnancies you’ve had, and the end results: miscarriage, live birth, stillbirth, and so on.
    • Pregnancy details. For example mine would look like this: My pregnancy with my daughter was complication free, and she was born at 40w6d, vaginally with an epidural. My first surrogacy journey we transferred two embryos, and I got pregnant with a singleton on the first transfer. The pregnancy was complication free, we induced at 39 weeks, and she was born vaginally. With my second journey I got pregnant with a singleton on the second transfer, first did not result in a pregnancy, and both transfers were with two embryos. The pregnancy was complication free, we induced at 39 weeks, and she was born vaginally. My third journey we transferred two embryos, both stuck, and I became pregnant with twins. Everything was complication free until I went into pre-term labor at 31 weeks, and the girls were born via c-section. Their stay in the NICU was 30 and 31 days.
    • If you are already cleared by your OB for another journey.
    • Your preference for the transfer, e.g. one embryo, two embryos.
    • How many you are willing/able to carry.
    • If your insurance covers surrogacy.

Spelling and Grammar

Because this is a formal communication, and you do want to make a good first impression, it would be best to make sure your spelling and grammar are correct. While programs are decent at catching spelling mistakes, grammar ones are non-existent or hit-or-miss depending on what program you’re using.

You don’t have to be perfect by any means, but taking the time to give it the extra effort and polish can make a world of difference. This can include making sure your homophones are correct, (e.g. they’re, their, there, to, two, too) for example, since spellcheck won’t catch these types of errors.


I’m only touching lightly on this one to recommend a couple things to keep in mind:

  • Use exclamation marks (!) sparingly.
  • Unless it is an acronym, such as SET, don’t CAPITALIZE WORDS. It leaves people with the feeling that you’re shouting at them.
  • Don’t use ellipses (…). I’ve noticed a trend for some people to do this at the end of almost every sentence, and it simply creates uncomfortable and unnecessary pauses for a reader.
  • Don’t overuse commas.

Sample Surrogate Intro Letter Format

Think about using a standard letter format:

Hello [IP or IPs],

My name is ___, and I recently saw your profile on the ATS spotlight! {Here is where you write what drew you to their profile.}

Information about you and your family. Why you chose to be a surrogate. More about your previous journeys if you’ve had them.

Pertinent information for the IP(s).

Parting words, such as; I would love to take this journey with you/you both, and if you’re interested in talking more please feel free to contact me through this e-mail, or at my numbers below. I’m happy to answer any questions you may have, and look forward to speaking with you.

[Closing] Sincerely/Regards/All the best,

[Your Name] [Contact information]

Use Multiple Paragraphs

A great wall of text can be a little intimidating, so think about breaking your information up into different paragraphs, with only similar subjects/information staying in the same one. The format above can give you a good idea about what information would go great together in the same paragraph.

Also, with e-mails, you can either try to format it with an indentation at the beginning of each new paragraph, or you can simply hit enter twice, giving you a space between paragraphs, to show a new one has begun. In e-mail communication either method is acceptable.


Consider attaching a photo of you and your family, as this helps give them a face to the name.

Most of all, just remember to be yourself!

Even if you have an incredibly awesome intro letter, just keep in mind some relationships aren’t meant to be, and the parents may still pass you over. Everyone wants to find an amazing and compatible match, so don’t despair. There are many wonderful people out there looking to start a family with the help of a surrogate, and you’ll find the one that’s right for you.

Now get to writing, and best of luck!

Tips Writing Surrogate Letter to IPs

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