Michelle is just starting out her journey as a surrogate, and we get to follow along on her journey!
I’m trying to be a surrogate. You know: get pregnant in a way that’s not as fun as the usual procedure, carry a baby around in my uterus and give it to the parents after 40 weeks.
I don’t know who I’m going to be a surrogate for, if I get to be one. I’d intended to help out a friend of mine who wasn’t sure she could get pregnant again, but she did (the fun way)! Since I’d already put the idea into my head and thought about whether or not I could do it for her (or anyone else, for that matter), I decided that I’m the perfect surrogate: I’ve got an empty uterus, I’m not in a relationship where I might have kids in the near future, I won’t have to worry about wanting to take home the adorable infant I’ll produce because I’m in NO WAY capable of handling a second child, and I could use the cash to start a down-payment savings account. I’m not gonna lie, the money aspect of surrogacy is enticing. But it’s not the only reason I’m doing it. If you know me at all, you’re likely not surprised that I’d do this. If you don’t know me, read this.
My immediate family knows of and fully supports this endeavor and with the publishing of my first post about this, the rest of my friends and church family will also know. I do not intend on keepingany aspect of my surrogacy a secret. That being said, my daughteralso knows what’s going on. And, again, her wisdom beyond her age snuck up on me. When I told “Em” that not everyone who wants to have children is able to and that I wanted to help by giving a baby to someone, that I’d be growing someone else’s baby and giving it away after it’s born, she was very excited. She immediately understood that this wouldn’t be a brother or sister for her, but it would be a child we would likely never see again. She thinks it’s great that I’ll be helping someone start a family. Of course Em wanted to know more, like where babies come from and how I can have a baby for someone else. So Em now knows just about all there is to know about conception, with two exceptions:
- She knows that “sex” exists, but she doesn’t know what it really is.
- She knows that men have a penis, but she doesn’t know what it looks like.
I will be a gestational surrogate: I only grow the baby. The baby/babies I will carry are not mine. I am not “giving away” my babies, I’m giving them back to their parents.
I’m going to blog about this for two main reasons: many people misunderstand surrogacy and because I’m gonna need somewhere to talk about this since my mom’s gonna get sick of it really quick.
I invite you to keep tabs on me and my attempt to navigate through this process. I welcome questions and comments; I’m an open book!
Michelle Stillson lives in Orange County, CA and is a divorced mom of one precocious little girl. Michelle works full-time for a Fortune 500 health insurance company and writes a personal blog in her spare time. (As a member of an Open and Affirming church, Michelle knew that not only would surrogacy fit into her personal faith surrounding giving, but she knew she wanted to work with same-sex IPs as an extension of her church’s work in social justice. Outside of surrogacy and church, Michelle enjoys frequent trips to Disneyland, her favorite karaoke bar and dates in Los Angeles with her newest romantic interest.
You can follow Michelle on her personal blog, Single Mom Sanctuary