My surrogacy journey started like most other women’s do. Eight years ago, I was a young twenty year old just barely out of college, with my new boyfriend, when I found myself pregnant. Nine short months later, at twenty-one, I gave birth to the center of my universe. I knew that moment I wanted to be a surrogate. Every surrogate gets to this place somehow, and that is how I got to mine. After completing my family a few years later with my second son, I knew I was ready to start helping making other families.
Having this gift of being able to bare children is something I never took for granted. When my son was born I felt this immediate guilt for women whom were much older and wiser than I who tried for years and couldn’t be blessed with the glorious gift that is her own child. After moving to Tennessee where surrogacy was allowed, I immediately started the surrogacy process.
After the normal medical and psychological clearance, I was ready to be matched. I wasn’t sure who I was going to get, and to my surprise I was matched with someone I recognized. This wasn’t a friend or someone I had met in passing, but rather someone I had seen on TV. I was so excited to be matched with a celebrity. After going to match meeting and talking with his wife and himself, I knew I wanted to give them a child.
The beginning was a little rough. After the match meeting most couples go out with the Intended Parents to lunch, where they have a nice conversation and get to know one another. We did not. We had a quick coffee downstairs before they had to run. Things kind of stayed like this throughout the journey. The mother and I would communicate, but there was always this paranoia and grudge from her.
At transfer, I expected them to want to go out to dinner, hang out, talk, but I didn’t see them until I was actually in the room ready for transfer. Then afterwards they came back to my hotel room for an hour and then promised to visit in the next two days I was on bed rest. They didn’t.
The rest of the pregnancy was like that, kind of what they wanted, on their time. During the third trimester there was a lot of talk about what they wanted to do to induce labor. Definitely no drugs, but the membrane sweep was a big conversation. Father said no, mother said yes, the mother of the father said no. With my Intended Parents both in town by 39 weeks I could tell the mother was getting impatient. Not to mention she wanted a Valentine’s Day baby. So after all was said and done the mother secretly asks me at 5:30 p.m. to go in and be induced. I gave in, called my doctor and headed to the hospital. To this day the father doesn’t know. I gave birth to my first surrobaby on February 14, 2014 at 11:54p.m. It was miraculous.
After the birth there was more disconnect. They didn’t even bring the baby by to say goodbye when they left. We talked about me getting updates and the only connection I have to her now is Instagram posts. I had dreamed of this amazing relationship and I was left with less than that.
Despite all of that, I still wanted to do surrogacy again. It felt amazing to help create a family, even if my circumstances were less than ideal. The second time around I was matched with an amazing couple. We transferred on March 1, 2015 and have one little boy due on November 17, 2015!!
This time around I am so much more at ease. The mother is sweet and attentive. She even spent both days of bed rest with me at the hotel. I have already visited their home, met their first son. It is so different. It just goes to show that each journey is different. I am so in love with this couple and their family. We are now 15 weeks along and I have already planned for a photographer to be at the birth to capture the moment their baby is born. Surrogacy is magical, even if its hard.
A note from ATS: Every surrogacy journey is different. Each story shared is shared with the intent to show the different types of surrogacy journeys and paths taken. We encourage each person to choose the path that is right for them.