Hello! We are Nick & Terri!
Today, we are excited to partner with All Things Surrogacy and to tell you our story. We are on pins and needles to meet our perfect match! We have had some bumps along the way, but we know our surrogate is out there, waiting to contribute the gift that is life, possibly reading our story right now.
We’ve been on the infertility journey since 2011. Terri has osteoporosis due to a hormonal imbalance that caused a long bout with a rare cancer. By the time the doctors figured out what it was, she was in her 30s, much time lost, hormones a wreck. On top of that she also has a blood clotting disorder, and doesn’t seem to absorb folate. (We certainly know what the issues are!) Because of all of this, Doctors recommended surrogacy. Aside from what makes her not “tick”, at least from a fertility standpoint, Terri today is otherwise a healthy 40-something, and loves to write novels, jog, and travel to Asian countries where she and Nick enjoy yoga and surfing.
Nick was born in Europe and learned English later in life. He is painfully shy, so it took him a long time to get up the courage to ask Terri out. She had no idea he even liked her for the longest time! The two finally got together and married in a sweet, family-filled backyard ceremony. They live a quiet life and like to walk their dog, watch basketball, and brew homemade beer together.
Nick has two children from a previous marriage, children whom Terri loves to pieces, but she did not get to see them grow up, so it feels like she missed out on their childhood years. The kids are also clamoring for a little brother or sister to baby-sit, and we think another little one would tie our family together in new and exciting ways!
Our Surrogacy Journey so far:
We have worked with two surrogates over the past 4 years, one of whom was simply amazing and has since become a close friend. Unfortunately, after undergoing 3 Ivf cycles to produce embryos to transfer to her, she miscarried 3 times and/or they did not “take”. We LOVED this woman! And she is STILL a close friend! But the doctors advised both of us that we were not a good match, and not to work together anymore. Although we tried to stay with her and get her tested every which way — she was that great — we were simply advised that it would be better to work with somebody else; it just wasn’t considered a productive match for either of us.
Unfortunately, our second surrogate exited the surrogacy process during the 11th hour, 2 weeks prior to the embryo transfer, and right as we were in the process of signing the contract. The new Gestational Carrier was very young, had never been a GC before, and come to find out, was not a U.S. Citizen with health insurance. She asked if we could help her get citizenship and medical insurance. We agreed to help pay for her application as a gesture of good will. However, as you might imagine, our attorney felt there were several red flags with her. Two weeks before the transfer, right as we were signing the contract, things un-raveled. She told us she no longer wanted to be a Gestational Carrier. So, four months into this process of getting to know someone, we were shocked and disappointed. Next time, we will be more careful to ask our GC about what inspires her. We all know that the money is never enough reason to become a surrogate, given all that a Gestational Carrier does for you…
There is a lot of trust entailed in surrogacy, and it’s a lot to ask someone to commit to carrying a child for you. But we have also learned a lot and have met some very good people along the way, as well. We are continually surprised at the generous spirit that is out there, and how many women are “born saints,” willing to help other women and their families out.
If our story has in any way touched you, maybe you are the one! We hope to hear from you soon!
-Terri & Nick
*Couple willing to share more, including photos, pursuant to your interest and further inquiry*
A note from Janae:
I had the chance to speak with Terri and ask a few questions as to what they’re looking for in a surrogate and their surrogacy journey. She is a wonderful lady who has been through a lot, knows what she wants, and is ready to get started! They’re looking for an independent journey (without the assistance of an agency), with a woman looking for a friendly relationship.
To further see if you would be a great match with Terri and Nicholas, check out their Intended Parent Spotlight Q&A:
- Does the surrogate’s location make a difference? It’s preferable she live in #1 Cali, then Nev, or WA
- What kind of relationship are you looking to have with your surrogate, before, during, and after the pregnancy? Open. I usually am in friendly, regular contact, but am not a hovercraft.
- Do you need to work with a woman who already has surrogate friendly insurance in place, or can you work with someone who needs an additional plan? We can help with insurance if necessary.
- Where is your clinic located? San Francisco
- How many embryos are you looking to transfer? 1-2 embryos max (likely one)
- Any specific qualities/details you would like to have in a surrogate? Someone who is responsible/responsive/a little Type A, or Type B plus motivated. Married with kids. No diseases or ailments that will put her at risk. We will probably be in regular communication, but not necessarily daily communication. Enthusiasm is a plus.
There you have it! Terri and Nicholas are eagerly waiting to hear from potential surrogates. If you or someone you know would like to contact this couple, please contact us here at All Things Surrogacy.
**This couple has found their surrogate!!**
Good luck Terri and Nicholas, we wish you the best!!